'Gladiator II' Review

One of the hottest TikTok trends of the year centered around raising the question of how often men think about the Roman Empire. Answers ranged from "a few times a month," "at least once a week," and "almost every day."  As is usually the case with social media, everything surrounding this viral moment was performative. But if you were to glance at this year's crop of movies, there is evidence to support the modern popularity of Rome. Francis Ford Coppola's long-gestating Megalopolis found Rome in the new world, with Madison Square Garden transformed into a coliseum and everyone flashing their favorite togas and olive branch crowns. And now, Ridley Scott returns us to the epic world of his Best Picture-winning film.

Similar to Coppola, Scott finds his version of Rome in an anarchic state. The legend of Marcus Aurelius has become all but forgotten by the commoners, replaced by the tyrannical rule of brothers Geta (Joseph Quinn) and Caracalla (Fred Hechinger). "They can eat war!" is their response to General Acacius' (Pedro Pascal) subtle plea that their bloodlust is starving the empire. He's just returned from conquering Numidia (modern-day Algeria), although there weren't many spoils to be had in the victory as the bodies of the slain men and women were burned right in front of their families. One of those victims was Arishat, the wife of Lucius (Paul Mescal) who only spoke in sentences that characters say before they die. Rage and bloodlust are the only currency that Lucius possesses while he's enslaved as a gladiator, two skills that make him worthy of the sponsorship of Macrinus (Denzel Washington).

In the gladiator pits, Lucius faces off against some of the nastiest animals on the planet, including rabid baboons, sharks, and a man tall enough to be in the NBA riding an armored rhinoceros. It is entirely forgivable for anachronistic creatures to appear upon the sands of The Colosseum. Like the spectators lining the rows, we're sitting in the theater for thrills, and the sight of Paul Mescal taking a bite out of a howling monkey and a shark jumping out of the water to snatch a random gladiator off a boat is something to behold. What's less forgivable is the CGI used to render these creatures to life, specifically the primates. Quite a few snickers emerged from the rows behind me as the image of Mescal flailing on the ground pretending to fight a monkey formed in their heads.

For Scott, age is still just a number, a fact that he can flaunt with even more swagger as he continuously eclipses the technical prowess of almost all his peers. While Gladiator II doesn't contain the unparalleled scale of Napoleon or the unforgettably brutal hand-to-hand combat of The Last Duel, it executes itself well enough to avoid faltering under the threat of comparison. The opening siege of Numidia follows a D-Day pattern as the Romans crash their vessels on the jagged shores. Arrows and catapults are exchanged at will, and bodies are returned to the sea in droves.

Things never get much bigger than that, with subsequent violence being reserved for the circular walls of The Colosseum. Fueling the background for those skirmishes is backdoor politics between various parties looking to ascend to the throne. Lucius is Macrinus' instrument for gaining favor from the current emperors, while Lucilla (Connie Nielsen) tries to rally the old guard of senators and generals. Writer David Scarpa returns to Scott's side after collaborations on All the Money in the World and Napoleon. The sweep and authentic drama from the original isn't to be found here, with a majority of the nearly two-and-a-half-hour runtime spent wading water.

It's Denzel Washington that breaks the movie out of that funk. He turns in a true movie star performance, twirling in his fine robes and chewing on every syllable. Nothing is more amusing than being in his presence, a feeling that will surely net him his tenth career Oscar nomination. While not necessarily miscast, Mescal never reaches the heights expected of him. The same goes for Pascal, who was caught in a functionary role.

"Indulgent" wouldn't be a word I'd use to describe Ridley Scott, but that's just what Gladiator II is. It's the sequences and performances that lean into the schlock that fare the best, although that's what disassociates it from the superior original and will likely hinder its memorability. To answer Maximus’ famous question: I was entertained… kind of.